So I went to see Wolverine last night, got really excited, went home and watched the rest of the X-men series. Now I'm here trying to move my cell phone with my mind and wondering if I squeeze my fists tight enough if a set of blades will shoot out of my knuckles. I'm going to make this post quick because Professor Xavier will probably be paying me a visit soon since, you know, I need to be taught how to control my super awesome mutant power. Anyway, I'm no movie critic, I don't even really know how to do movie reviews so let me wing this thing.
Wolverine or Logan or Hugh Jackman is a very, very very..very fine man. Jean is thirsty, she's all up in the man's dreams trying to seduce him in some white lingerie, titties all out.. bitch, we see you. It's interesting though, that entire subconscious dream shit was shot from his perspective, highlighting the perve slime that he is. There's nothing wrong with that, he a very handsome perve slime.
Anyway it was dope to see Wolverine or Logan or whatever be humananized (is that a word?) for a little bit. The poor man is always being shot at, thrown through some forest or running for his dear life. When my dude got shot and didn't heal I had to choke back my tears. I was in the theatre like HOLD ON ONE DAMN SECOND, what the fuck you mean he's still bleeding?? Ugh, my heart. He finally really appreciates being a damn mutant. Homie has been beating the shit out of people and walking away for centuries and now he catches a blow and really feels it. But only for a little bit, don't worry, Wolverine never dies, he's like Chuck Norris. I feel like they buy their denim from the same boutique.
Moving along. There are some interesting japanese cultural themes tied into the movie, the whole notion of respect, it just strikes a cord deep in my soul. But then there's this whole other theme of 'ask and if you don't recieve just take it and tell that person to fuck off' it's just so moving. Oh before I forget, there's this babe in the movie? Let me just tell you from now, you're probably already aware Beyonce 'cut' her hair.. let's just say the weave she took out got put to good use.
All in all, the movie was pretty awesome except for some corny ass transformer infused samurai ruining everyone's life. James Marigold did his thing, he clearly took a thing or two from Snyder and he probably read a stack of comics before he got to filming, AS HE SHOULD.
I rate this film, 2 blades, I mean thumbs up. Oh and those abs???? #heyboo
-Mego
